Ultimate Presidential Death Match - A Political Idea That Even Chuck Norris Would Love
We have this political system all wrong. We want entertainment and not policy! No one has time for boring talk about things like fiscal responsibility, real changes to immigration, or even interest rates and education. But we aren't taking this far enough.
So this is what I propose: A Death Match to the Presidency
The premise is simple. We take a handful of our strongest and smartest and throw them into an arena Hunger Games style. Last man or woman standing gets to be president.
Too easy? Only the strongest will win?
Well, what if the only weapons were a pile of Q Tips in a bowl? Now we have a chance to really see what these candidates are made of. I mean, really, who could kill someone with a Q Tip? And you would have to figure out things like shelter and how you would survive in what most likely would be a long, long arduous process.
And for fun, maybe one of the candidates has contracted Ebola. Unfair advantage? Well, maybe, but as long as the candidate lasts the four years, who cares really?
Maybe the Death Match should involve only those with a terminal illness or those who promise to jump off a cliff at the end of four years. We could end up with an interesting stash of candidates that are willing to sacrifice what's left of their meager existences to the common good.
I also propose that every other election cycle each candidate can bring a trained animal beast. What can be more entertaining than watching a bunch of men and women fighting it out while a trained alligator attempts to bite off everyone's limbs?
Money Won't Matter as Much as Skill
What's great about this Presidential Death Match is that money won't play as big a role as it does today. Maybe ego or a bit of crazy would come in, but the folks interested in the presidency will have a vested interest in being the most qualified or they die. And the only advantages they have will come in before the ring (none of this magically floating in help from the outside like the Hunger Games).
That means that before they are considered for the presidency they already have to be strong and intelligent, and they have to know what they are getting into.
Now, of course, you might say that in this case only folks like Chuck Norris or the Rock will have a chance to fight it out. But remember, we don't need real weapons here. What if Ebola candidate contaminates all the water, or maybe someone hogs all the food, maybe the trained snake bites everyone, or the only woman there is a ninja.
But everyone that goes in for the presidency would have to be ready.
- They wouldn't have a posh rich lifestyle or other political office waiting for them in the end if they fail.
- They would have to be darned sure about being the president because it would cost them everything.
And don't you want your president to have as much of a stake in the fate of our country as you do?
So next election cycle let's push for the ultimate in political entertainment - A Presidential Death Match. My candidate will be ready. Will yours?
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Award-winning composer and novelist Sabrina Pena Young is wildly excited about the success of her debut dystopic novel Libertaria: Genesis. In her free time she plays the congas, is teaching herself how to code, and binges on Dr. Who.
"Libertaria is like a code that has to be broken. Like taking on a second language."
"This book is dystopia squared."
"Libertaria: Genesis is dystopian, and good at it, and that needs further examination." - J. Roseman, escapepod.org
“One of my favorite things about this story is its odd apocalyptic tone and strong sci-fi/fantasy foundation. The dark quality that comes with it is the cherry on top.” –FanboysAnonymous.com on Libertaria: The Virtual Opera
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