Skip to main content

Musician Pro Insider: 20 Amateur Recording Mistakes that Taylor Swift would NEVER Make

Musician Pro Insider: 20 Amateur Recording Mistakes that Taylor Swift would NEVER Make

Mix, Record, Repeat
Taylor Swift Rocking the Polaroid

Let's say you are aspiring to be the most memorable singer/songwriter/performer of all time, but it's the first time in that you have been in the studio and you are creating your first masterpiece.

Whether you are slamming together some sweet dance beats, crooning out a ballad, trippin' on rock n roll, composing your first string quartet, or trying to be the next Taylor Swift, there are some things that will guarantee that your latest CD will end up at the bottom of the discard pile.

So here you go, in no particular order 20 Amateur Mistakes that Taylor Swift would NEVER make:

1) Make sure that your demo tape sounds like you recorded it at a construction site. The extra racket from the bulldozers and jackhammers will add a little bit of finesse to your delicate lyrics.

2) Make sure every lyric rhymes with the word "blue".


3) If you can't afford a real musician to play the sick guitar solo, practice Guitar Hero until you are blue in the face and then record your new soloing skills, too.


4) Make sure the drummer is either sloshed or dead. 
Being able to keep regular time throughout a song is overrated.


5) After the piece is sixty minutes long, add another sixty minutes, just to be sure that your audience appreciates your artistic genius.


6) Repeat the same section over and over and over.


7) Repeat the same section over and over and over.


8) Repeat the same section over and over and over.


9) Steal someone else's music, budge it up a half-step, and give it a new title (that just makes you an all-out jerk).


10) Never stay in the same key as the band. Always keep them guessing with your out-of-tune virtuosity.


11) Make sure your ego is bigger than your talent.


12) Your song's harmonic structure must only float between I and V, the entire piece!


13) Never change keys, after all, you might lose them.


14) Be sure that your sheet music keeps the performers on their toes. Leave out metronome markings, time signatures, and make the parts as creative as possible (coffee stains are a PLUS).


15) At the recording session, hand the musicians a blank sheet that says "ad lib". Oh, and be sure to hammer them when they don't understand your musical vision.


16) Use the McDonald's jingle "Mmm.mmm.mmm.mmm.mmm. I'm loving it!" as your sole inspiration.


17) Be sure to mix down your master using those headphones from the dollar store.


18) Make sure every instrument is panned CENTER.


19) The person you are currently dating is the best musician EVER and should be FEATURED on your new album.


20) And finally, only get creative advice from your your deaf grandma.

---
Composer Sabrina Pena Young likes to write crazy music that goes well with yodeling in the shower. Her latest insane creation is Libertaria: The Virtual Opera, a "groundbreaking" sci-fi animated opera about evil singing geneticists, cyborgs, and Metal Ink addiction. Find out more about Sabrina at her official blog


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Top 10 Mistakes When Writing for Percussion

Top 10 Mistakes When Writing for Percussionby Sabrina Young
10. Indicating the wrong mallets for an instrument.Brass mallets on vibes? Try a hammer on a violin!


9. Writing the glockenspiel part as heard.You shouldn't have to climb a ladder of leger lines to read a glock part. Keep it in the staff.

8. When in doubt, adding more suspended cymbal.This is a huge mistake made by arrangers. Yep, cymbals add automatic intensity to a piece, but so can a bass drum roll, a rousing hand drum part, exciting mallet licks, or a hundred other combinations. Well-written percussion parts stand out in the band and church repertoire.



7. Better means more complicated, right?This is my main mistake. A percussion part can be simple enough for a middle school, but it is the ability to use the different tone colors of the percussion palette properly that indicates a maturity in writing, not that impossible part for the timpanist that has them playing timpani, gong, crash cymbals, and triangle in the span of…

Music Industry Insider: 50 Ways to Make Money as a Musician

50 Ways to Make Money as a MusicianWant to have a musical career but not sure how to make money as a musician in today's market? Well, first you need to redefine your goals as a musician and realize that like any job, being a musician involves a lot of work, perseverance, and talent. And in today's Digital Age, you need to be able to combine your skills to help you make a living as a musician. You will probably need to select at least a dozen forms of income and micro-incomes in order to make a full time living as a musician or choose a primary steady gig and add on other projects (what most musicians have done for centuries). 

Each method of making money has a $, $$, $$$ or S for work that will make you a little pocket money ($), possibly significant money - hundreds to thousands ($$), at least part time or possible full time work ($$$), or is steady work (S). Notice that none of these options involve making millions of dollars so you can drive around in a diamond-crusted limo…

Top 5 Tips Submitting Your Indie Film to Film Festival in 2019

Top 5 Tips for Film Festival Submissions in 2019 You just finished your film! So now what? Sure, you can show your friends and family, even put it up on YouTube. But why don't you try getting it out to a much wider audience? Indie filmmakers and student filmmakers can have their movies shown around the globe at film festivals.

Film festivals run the gamut of red carpet affairs like Sundance and Cannes to more local events, online festivals, and university-led events. For example, in Buffalo, there are a number of incredible film festivals like the Buffalo Dreams Fantastic Film Festival (a local film fest that has a special love for all horror and science fiction), the NCCC Film and Animation (a great venue for students and local film networking), and other film festivals like the Buffalo International Film Festival and the 48 hour Film Festival. 

The 48 Hour Film Festival is a worldwide phenomenon where filmmakers get together and create a film in, you guessed it, 48 hours! Best of …